After two months of intense spiritual training mixed in with brainwashing, sleep deprivation through overwork, and an absolutely surreal existence complete with roaring tigers, a multi-million dollar house the 'ashram' was building (one-ton stone tub imported from Italy, 15-foot-high iron doors specially carved with the Om symbol, a Pompeiian pool kept at 98 degrees year round...you get the picture)...a second 'master' whose supposedly channeled enlightened entity is the most gives the most inspiring speeches you have ever heard in a magificent sound-and-light show environment, all values questioned and turned inside-out...not to mention complete isolation from all friends and family, who have no idea what is going on...after this kind of existence, during which you happened to become a radio show producer amid other jobs for the 'family'...after all this, you are suddenly whisked away by the love of your life to....
Sedona Arizona, to a Journeywork seminar, where you experienced similar training to the 'ashram' spiritual training, but minus the brainwashing woven throughout. Though you are shell-shocked and still catching up on long-lost sleep. And you are with the love of your life suddenly, after he has undergone a dramatic transformation brought about by the trauma of almost losing you forever to the evil cultists, causing him to realize he does want you in his life always (this from a man with commitment phobia so great it chased him clear from Oregon to Florida for nine months)...you are together, madly in love again, driving across the desert of Mojave, stopping at ghost towns, soaking in hot springs.
Then you find yourself dropped suddenly into the role of a stepmother, but without the authority of being married and therefore a legitimate stepmom, living with the love of your life and his two teenage children who both happen to be at major crossroads, struggling as teenagers do...not that you have any idea of what to do in this role anyways...and did I mention you have no money of your own, and want to be a writer but have yet to finish a book, and having moved into this situation are lost, unpacking endless boxes in a bachelor-pad-type apartment in which you have no idea where you really fit in? Or that you develop a sudden acute health problem whose treatment creates continuous nausea and the need to nap?And that you're 31, with nothing to show for it but who you are? Two tough weeks are suddenly followed by...another road trip!
To your family reunion, where the love of your life meets 18 of your closest relatives out camping and having a blast. You have a hard time telling anyone what exactly you are doing these days (the, 'uh, just got out of the cult and wanting to write' explanation does not seem like it would go over too well) so you say you're 'in transition'.
After Glacier National Park - a world away from everywhere you have ever been, a wild wild world - you are suddenly in your new home again, blinking in the sunlight and wondering what will happen next.
Such was my early summer 2008. And here I am.
